Today was miraculously calm. Caty pulled herself together for the past 24 hours, thank goodness. It may have helped because got a new bike (her old one fell apart). So she had something fun to look forward to today. She spent the entire day outside (as did Sabrina).
Adam was a blast. He watched the Penn State game with me. He enjoyed clapping when I cheered at every touch down. I hope he goes there as well.
My husband and I have had a wake up call this week. $400 on groceries in 2 days. Although, we did make a run to Sams Club, something you need to do when feeding a family of 6. So, even though we spent a lot, some of it will carry through for a while. (I hope!!)
Well, I'm looking forward to Church tomorrow. It seems to calm me down, at least temporarily. Happy Labor Day weekend!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Dear Diary
Another day down. I'm exhausted but somewhere in the chaos, I think some good will come. I had a good day with Adam. He is standing on his own now, but hasn't mastered the step forward yet.
Caty is struggling. Everything is an argument. She will look at you and deliberately not listen. I feel bad for her, but can't reward her behavior. If I do, then she will think it is acceptable. It is painful to send an emotionally drained 6 year old to time out, to witness the tantrums, and to think that her mother is delusional in her own life.
Sabrina had soccer today. She seems to be doing really well. In fact, she keeps saying that she is relieved that she didn't move away from her Dad. They are close.
If anyone is reading this and you are thinking about moving away from your kids or you are in a custody battle to remove your kids from another responsible parent, please consider your kids. There is no win for them. They lose a parent either way and possibly siblings and other family. I'm watching the destruction each and every day. Don't make the same mistake as Lucinda.
Caty is struggling. Everything is an argument. She will look at you and deliberately not listen. I feel bad for her, but can't reward her behavior. If I do, then she will think it is acceptable. It is painful to send an emotionally drained 6 year old to time out, to witness the tantrums, and to think that her mother is delusional in her own life.
Sabrina had soccer today. She seems to be doing really well. In fact, she keeps saying that she is relieved that she didn't move away from her Dad. They are close.
If anyone is reading this and you are thinking about moving away from your kids or you are in a custody battle to remove your kids from another responsible parent, please consider your kids. There is no win for them. They lose a parent either way and possibly siblings and other family. I'm watching the destruction each and every day. Don't make the same mistake as Lucinda.
A Day in Therapy
Today my step daughters have gone to see a therapist. After the year that they have had, they need it. It was like cutting an open wound to Caty (6 years old.) How does she even comprehend that her favorite person in the world, her mother, has left her. She can't. She doesn't take comfort when I sit with her tonight, while she cries for her Mom. I'm helpless and can't make things better for her. We provide a safe and loving home, but I have no idea how long this healing process will take. I'm not sure that it will ever end.
I guess I should back up and explain the train wreck that is.......Lucinda remarried a few years ago. She married someone that already has 2 divorces under his belt and 4 kids from the marriages. One child lives in another state and the other three moved last summer. Her new ex decides to move to be with his kids. And after 6 months of court documents and lawyers, Lucinda decides to quit the custody battle she started and just leave the kids. The oldest, 12 already lives with us because "he caused to many problems." But the girls, weren't prepared to see their Mom leave. They assumed that her promises of living their lives elsewhere would come true.
I wasn't sure I'd be a Mom, let alone a Step Mom. But I now have a beautiful one year old. I get to stay home with him and watch him grow. I can't imagine life any other way.
I guess I should back up and explain the train wreck that is.......Lucinda remarried a few years ago. She married someone that already has 2 divorces under his belt and 4 kids from the marriages. One child lives in another state and the other three moved last summer. Her new ex decides to move to be with his kids. And after 6 months of court documents and lawyers, Lucinda decides to quit the custody battle she started and just leave the kids. The oldest, 12 already lives with us because "he caused to many problems." But the girls, weren't prepared to see their Mom leave. They assumed that her promises of living their lives elsewhere would come true.
I wasn't sure I'd be a Mom, let alone a Step Mom. But I now have a beautiful one year old. I get to stay home with him and watch him grow. I can't imagine life any other way.
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